Sometimes I wonder, why do people start something knowing very well that it will end.
"I don't want to waste her time when I don't intend to marry her"
Truth to be spoken, then why start?
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
A lesson from the rain
It was close to midnight, quiet and almost empty, barely a sight of life, she packed quickly and left. It had been a busy day, endless deadlines, she had to finish what she had planned to finish before she leaves for a short get away. Friends, they kept her phone busy, they were supposed to celebrate this day for no particular reason. Not any special occasion that she knows of,ironically, it was just a regular Thursday party.
The plan was to meet fifteen minutes before one, she had sufficient time to get home, get changed and head out. Finding umbrella cumbersome, she had kept one in the office for rainy days. Indeed, it was of use today.
The rain was heavy, it was as though someone up there was weeping. The roads were dimly lit, visions were poor. In hopes of hailing a cab, she saw a couple waving for pick up, along the corridor, hoping to get noticed.
"Hello, are you flagging a cab?"
"Yes and so?" the woman snapped.
"Let me help" she smiles.
The woman wore a different expression almost instantly.
Under the storm, she stood, something about this rain made her particularly moody. Perhaps it was the location, could be memories too. For the next twenty minutes, no taxi stopped by her. The couple in the shade were long gone, given up on waiting and found another alternative. But for her, she stayed rooted to the same spot, waiting.
Quite silly, you must have thought but there was this feeling of not wanting to lose stirring up inside, fighting fiercely. She just stayed there for another twenty minutes, hoping to get noticed, just hoping. She raised her hands occasionally, perhaps not fast enough, two empty cabs passes her by and maybe, just maybe, they were rushing to be home, to someone who's dear.
In a distance, not far away, she spotted a green light of hope. As it drove towards her, she remembered feeling relieved. Relieved that she stood by her decisions, relieved that waiting got her somewhere, relieved that someone finally saw her.
As it approaches, a man in suit appeared no five meters away, held up his hand and jumped right into her hope. It was apparent that she was waiting, how could anyone be so oblivious? The driver saw her, no doubts, why did he pick someone else instead?
For that moment, she wasn’t sure if that was rain drops in her eyes, it felt warm. Someone else was enjoying the fruit of her labor and that isn’t fair.
It’s not fair that she spent forty five minutes waiting while he spent five. It’s not fair that she was drenched while he was dry. It’s not fair that she waited to get noticed and she never did.
Fairness; if things could reach equilibrium, there would not be segregation between the rich and the poor, the King and the peasants, the powerful and the weak. No one told her how bad this would hurt. That night, she woke up to keep away from altruism.
noun
the belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others
No more silly gestures and silly waiting games. It’s goodbye and she's almost there. Not easy but her heart's cold.
It's not something to go through again, this painful heart wrenching thing.
The plan was to meet fifteen minutes before one, she had sufficient time to get home, get changed and head out. Finding umbrella cumbersome, she had kept one in the office for rainy days. Indeed, it was of use today.
The rain was heavy, it was as though someone up there was weeping. The roads were dimly lit, visions were poor. In hopes of hailing a cab, she saw a couple waving for pick up, along the corridor, hoping to get noticed.
"Hello, are you flagging a cab?"
"Yes and so?" the woman snapped.
"Let me help" she smiles.
The woman wore a different expression almost instantly.
Under the storm, she stood, something about this rain made her particularly moody. Perhaps it was the location, could be memories too. For the next twenty minutes, no taxi stopped by her. The couple in the shade were long gone, given up on waiting and found another alternative. But for her, she stayed rooted to the same spot, waiting.
Quite silly, you must have thought but there was this feeling of not wanting to lose stirring up inside, fighting fiercely. She just stayed there for another twenty minutes, hoping to get noticed, just hoping. She raised her hands occasionally, perhaps not fast enough, two empty cabs passes her by and maybe, just maybe, they were rushing to be home, to someone who's dear.
In a distance, not far away, she spotted a green light of hope. As it drove towards her, she remembered feeling relieved. Relieved that she stood by her decisions, relieved that waiting got her somewhere, relieved that someone finally saw her.
As it approaches, a man in suit appeared no five meters away, held up his hand and jumped right into her hope. It was apparent that she was waiting, how could anyone be so oblivious? The driver saw her, no doubts, why did he pick someone else instead?
For that moment, she wasn’t sure if that was rain drops in her eyes, it felt warm. Someone else was enjoying the fruit of her labor and that isn’t fair.
It’s not fair that she spent forty five minutes waiting while he spent five. It’s not fair that she was drenched while he was dry. It’s not fair that she waited to get noticed and she never did.
Fairness; if things could reach equilibrium, there would not be segregation between the rich and the poor, the King and the peasants, the powerful and the weak. No one told her how bad this would hurt. That night, she woke up to keep away from altruism.
noun
the belief in or practice of disinterested and selfless concern for the well-being of others
No more silly gestures and silly waiting games. It’s goodbye and she's almost there. Not easy but her heart's cold.
It's not something to go through again, this painful heart wrenching thing.
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